Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Starting Over and Over and Over

Is this the time in my life of three-month relationships? That would mean starting over four times a year?! Enough! Starting over is a pain in the royal patoot!

The worst part is all the 'splaining one has to do, the history, the disclaimers. I had dinner with F last night before rehearsal. Before parting with him to go on my musical way, I had a massive migraine attack — the worst attack I've had in several years, and very different from all previous attacks. It scared me. If it scared me, what on earth must it have done to him?!

With the starting over, with all the explaining, comes the risk that the new man in one's life is going to say, "That's more than I wish to deal with at this time in my life. See ya."

I salute the over-50 singles with the courage to keep putting one foot in front of the other and explaining themselves over and over again and repeatedly taking on the risk of rejection, yet again. I guess I'm part of that crowd. I guess I want someone in my life badly enough that I'll keep incurring the risk.

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