The University of Life

I just arrived back in Tucson after an overnight in Phoenix with Mr. Match. This was our first planned overnight (as opposed to falling asleep and waking up at 5:00 a.m.). We went up to see the touring company of "Wicked". I know the soundtrack by heart, have read and listened to the book, and just adore the show. I'll see it on Broadway with Cheryl October 13th. Cheryl had taken her daughter to Wicked on Broadway in February, so I wanted to also see it before we see it together. I want to be able to savor every nuance when I'm sitting in row E! (Mr. Match and I sat in the back row of the first balcony - great for an overview, but not row E!)

To get back on topic, I had a lovely time with Mr. Match for this 24-hour date. He's very easy-going, laid-back, a great traveling companion. Smart men turn me on, and he's erudite in many subjects. I don't know if he shares his knowledge with other people in his circle of acquaintances, but I learn something every time we're together, and I love every minute of it. It works for me.

In my opinion, he and I have settled into "old shoe". (No, he hasn't hidden his profile. He's still getting winks and e-mails from a ton o' women on Match, and I don't love it when he tells me about it, but I'm trying to give him a lot of leeway.) But with "old shoe" comes a slowing down in the normal dating, trying-to-win-you-over behavior — the flirting, the compliments, the proactive behavior. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that slowing down. It's reality. The heady rush of early infatuation — that's what's not reality.

I find myself feeling a little wistful, missing the early hands-on behavior. He is exquisitely considerate, he holds my hand when we walk, he opens doors for me. There's really nothing lacking — it's just a minor mid-course correction from the first six weeks or so. And then it hit me. Am I so used to being treated poorly that I don't recognize good treatment from a mature, sensible, thoughtful man?

That brings me to a quote I heard several years ago and subsequently wrote in the front of my journal so I'd keep reading it. It's from Walter Brueggemann: "We have lived with things abnormal so long that we have gotten used to them and we think they are normal.”

If I seek learning as much as I profess to, then may I learn this lesson quickly. May I learn to recognize and respect and cherish decent, humane behavior from a kind, thoughtful man.