My Aching Heart

I'm feeling overwhelming sadness tonight. It's not the feeling of rejection — I know that feeling well. Usually when I feel rejection, I have a physical pain that radiates down my right arm from my shoulder to my fingertips. This is not that feeling.

This is a sadness that feels like a heavy cloak around my heart. I've had such wonderful happiness for the past three months, even with the nonsense of the ex-fiancé and the everpresent Match profile. He said things to me like, "I predict we'll be married a year from now." "I'm in love with you." "You're spectacular." Who wouldn't find happiness with that, and with long conversations, and with fun times together?

I thought I had met Mr. Right. I thought the loneliness and the sadness of my life was over. I thought finally I could have a life.

My intense sadness is for the death of that dream.