Moving Along On a New Road?

I've been thinking about how to avoid getting in this position again.

Do I want to just give up on dating, on finding a man to be part of my life? I don't think that's the answer. I am happier when I'm part of a couple, when I have an emotional connection.

Maybe I should try just going out with men I'm not physically attracted to. Maybe I just want to date men who are very intelligent, who will keep me on my toes mentally. But I'm such a romantic — somehow I think that wouldn't work. (No, I'm not intimating that looks and brains cannot be found in the same body.)

My therapist said once that she was shocked I spent any face-to-face time at all with EEFFH. She said that appearances are so important to me, that art and beauty are such core factors to my life, that she couldn't even imagine that I could be around him, with his slovenliness and his morbid obesity.

Given that knowledge, I'm not sure about going out with someone I'm not physically attracted to. Do all gorgeous men have such enormous egos that they're unwilling and unable to settle for one good woman? That can't be. I know plenty of handsome men who are happy being monogamous, committed, loyal. (My younger son is a prime example. Yesterday was Tyler and Jaci's eighth anniversary. If I had hand-picked this woman, I could not have done as good a job as he did. They have a wonderful, happy marriage that I have no doubt will last "until death do them part".)

How do I adjust my thinking, my hopes and dreams, or my search techniques so I don't end up yet again with this horrible ache in my heart?