Friday, April 06, 2007

Kindness to the Uncool

I mentioned our Web Summit on Tuesday and Wednesday. One of the women on our team is totally uncool. She's 65 and gives new meaning to the epithet "Dumb Blonde." It's unclear how this woman has kept a career going in the IBM of today, where people and groups are laid off routinely, with concern primarily for the bottom line.

The Tucson part of the team is fortunate that this woman works in Raleigh rather than Tucson. I have to bite my tongue constantly when dealing with her. The other challenge in dealing with her is that she's the type of old IBMer who would escalate if she feels you're treating her badly. We contractors watch what we say, because we know we could be out the door very quickly if she got piffed off at us.

So as I sat in this all-day meeting across the table from this woman, aghast and filled with disdain for the drivel that spilled from her mouth, I was struck by my own hypocrisy.

How can I say I should have been nicer to the uncool kids in high school and then not attempt to be nicer to this woman? So I tried. I was successful (I think) in making her feel welcomed and valued, even if I wasn't able to change my mindset toward her.

There is goodness about her: she doesn't smell. The Indian guy (not that there's anything wrong with that) on the team doesn't shower and can clear out a room by raising his arm. The lesbian (not that there's anything wrong with that) on the team never washes her clothes and promotes working through SameTime (instant messaging) because her office smells so bad.

So is it all about looking for the good in a person? Then I was successful — I found the good in her. She doesn't smell.

(Alright, tell me I'm shallow. It's okay.)

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