Friday, September 21, 2007

Bag & Baggage

My friend Klaire (who is a handful of years older than I and has been married forever to an absolutely darling man) said to me last night that she thinks it's important for couples to look to the future, not dwell on the past. Of course, she said this after she said she can't imagine what it's like to be dating in one's 50s or 60s.

My response was that you have to believe there will be a future to be able to look toward it. And the belief in a mutual future depends upon a complicated weighing and balancing process.

A factor that has been complicating my life for the past week was the lack of a photo of the Biker. His image was fading from my mind. And when we spoke on the phone, his voice reminded me of two different men from the past: the El Paso man of two years ago who said he was going to comb his bushy eyebrows up and over to hide his male pattern baldness; and the Maryland man who told the most self-serving, boring, name-dropping stories and of whom Jaci said "Yuck!" when I told her he was calling me again. The Biker, lacking his own identity, was being assigned the identity of so many losers in the past. And implicitly becoming a loser.

Help! Save me from myself! Yesterday I e-mailed Klaire and said, "Oh you who is never without a camera in her hand, don't you have a picture from the Biker's visit?" And, bless her little shutter-clicking finger, she brought me two photos last night. Ah. Sign of relief. That's what he looks like. Now I remember. Now I remember how much I like him, the characteristics that warm my heart, the thoughtfulness he displays and how he rags on me when I pull out my own chair at dinner. Now I remember how much fun I had sitting next to him and feeling his touch on my arm.

Who coined the phrase "a picture is worth a thousand words"? Truer words have never been spoken!


By the way, the Biker has started reading along here. And he questions being assigned that name. He asked me, "why not the Reader, the Camper, the Fisher, the Outdoor Guy, the . . ." and so on. He does much more than ride motorcycles, but he makes his living in that industry, so he's gonna stay "The Biker."

It's my blog. I can say what I want. (she said, smiling)

3 comments:

TJ said...

Good for you, says I. I've shut down probably four blogs in the last few years, due to pissing off some female or other.

Clearly, I have a way with women.

jc said...

Well, we have to admit that everyone reading here is doing so because I know they're friend, not foe. I'm not good with the criticism dished out by foes. Were you friend or foe of these women? (And, if I haven't told you lately, I love your brain.)

TJ said...

heh. It came and went. But, I assure you dear mother, it was always their fault. ;-)