Saying what you mean; Meaning what you say

Are there women who want to multitask where men are concerned? I certainly don't know of any. All my single girlfriends want one man with whom to spend the rest of their lives. We aren't looking for a handful of men — Manny on Monday, Tom on Tuesday, Wally on Wednesday, . . . . Hell, my brain cells can't keep up with all the facts. Was it Manny who had a son and a daughter, or was that Tom? Had Tom lived in Paris, or was that Wally?

My point is that women state their objectives very clearly in their profiles. They say what they mean, and they mean what they say.

Men, on the other hand, tend to want hot and cold running women, according to what I'm hearing on the street. Their profiles don't indicate that. Their profiles say all sorts of wonderful things:

• I'd love to find a new friend, companion and sweetheart with whom to enjoy again life and love, work and play, travel and home. (I think he's talking about all of that in one person, not three separate women.)


• Life is short and my special person should want to make the best of our remaining years together!


• I'm searching for a partner who’s my companion - as much a friend as lover, passionate, confident attractive, fit, and shares similar attitudes, values, likes and wants.


• Divorced three years and now looking for my “soul mate” for that synergistic relationship.

Do these men say this because they think/intuit/know that's what a woman wants to hear, or do they really mean it? Do they think they really mean it, but once the woman starts falling for them, they either think, "if this babe fell for me, maybe there's something even better around the corner" or "man, this dating is fun stuff — I think I'll do more of it."

For me, when I read something in a profile, and start dating that man, I presume we're headed in the direction of our mutual objectives, as stated in our individual profiles. When he starts pulling back and soon says, "I'm not where you are" — as the Lemonade Tycoon did before so tactlessly breaking things off with me via e-mail — I start questioning my own words and thoughts. I go back to my profile and reread and study and analyze to see where I steered this boy wrong. And my analysis reveals I didn't steer him wrong. I said exactly what I meant — that I wanted one more man, one Mr. Right, to walk with me through the rest of my life.

If you merely want casual dates, pretty women to hang off your arm for concerts and parties and dining out, then please say so. If it's me you decided you didn't want a long-term relationship with, rather than that you changed your mind about wanting a long-term relationship, please have the courage and do me the courtesy to say so.

Most of us are smart enough to know that, by the time you've reached this age, we're not going to be retraining you.