Old Dogs, Old Tricks

What is it with men desiring younger women? Is it simply the excitement of the conquest, the thrill of victory? Is it how studly they look to their peers when they've got this sweet young thing hanging off their arms?

The other day I told Mr. Match that I was going to the Pi Beta Phi house to play the piano for a rush party. I described these darling little 18-, 19- and 20-year-olds, so full of enthusiasm, sweetness, and innocence of what the life ahead of them holds. He said, "do you think they'd be interested in a 62-year-old man?" There is no question in my mind that he asked that in jest. But you gotta know it ran through his head, as it does through the heads of many men over, say, 50.

I heard the other day - don't remember where - that every man should have a woman who is half his age plus seven. The would mean Mr. Match would be with a 38yo woman. In fact, my 63yo brother's wife will be 38 on her next birthday. She's the same age as my daughter-in-law! My brother is a year older than his mother-in-law! (Remember the line "we are an American family" from "You've Got Mail"? I guess I'm part of an American family.) Truly, I don't know what my brother and his wife have to talk about. And think about how old he'll be when she's 50. I can't even do the math! Now my younger son - he just did the "plus seven". For them it works very well.

Men don't realize how good they've got it when they choose an age-appropriate woman, someone close to their own age. I know if I'm every lucky enough to find that one-more-man for my life, he's gonna be treated like gold! I'm sick of being single. I don't ever want to be single again. Yeah, if he treats me poorly, I'm going to set him straight and require that he treat me right. But if he treats me the way I'm getting used to being treated, he'll live out the rest of his life in happiness.

So, guys, do you want a hood ornament, or do you want substance, wisdom, wit, and true beauty that comes from a long life well lived?