Sometime yesterday I realized it was my second husband's birthday. I rarely think of him any more. We separated in 1988 after almost five years of marriage and were divorced sometime in 1989. Our twenty-fifth anniversary would have been July 16th, just a month ago. I'm not even sure that registered with me at the time.
Thinking about #2's birthday is rather sobering. I have always liked older men. I've spent lots of time in therapy, but never felt the need to delve into the whys and wherefores of my appreciation of older men. I was 33 when I married #2. He was 47. If you want to bother with the math, he turned 73 today.
A fifteen-year age difference between 33 and 48 seems romantic to me (or did at the time). But a fifteen-year difference between 58 and 73. I can't even imagine, today, what it would be like to be married to him now. He was a swimmer, cross-country skier, hiker, and a runner. And yet, I remember him as being old-thinking. I don't think of him as being young for his age, as I think of myself.
I hope he's had a happy life and maybe been able to conquer his depression. We ran into each other a couple of times post-divorce and he wouldn't even look at me. Really, life is too short to hold that kind of grudge. What did I do to you to earn that kind of hatred? I just said I wouldn't be treated the way you wanted to treat me.
Oh well. Happy Birthday.
3 comments:
I read this post this morning with a small smile of recognition at the mirror of my own thoughts. There were 15 years between Roy and I. It wasn't something we really noticed but I often wonder what it would have looked like in the future for us. He was 56 when he passed away. I was 41. He will forever remain 56 in my mind and that is kind of hard to wrap my mind around!
And this time around I went younger! Lorne is 7 years my junior. And again, we don't notice it. However, it does give me cause to giggle when I consider there were 22 years between my two husbands!! lol!!
The two times in my life that I haven't been able to look someone in the eye, it's been because I was ashamed. Food for thought.
Also, I tend to skew younger. I don't know why that is, but I don't really care either. I just go with it!
TJ, you're too kind. I saw the look in his eye when he first saw me both times. It was anger. Sheer unadulterated rage.
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