Dating as a Memory Exercise

I've had two dates with a Very Nice Guy. And a third is scheduled. I am happy. I am elated. I have a whole new outlook on life.

Living alone has its good side and its bad side. The good is that I can drop my clothes on the floor and nobody complains. Oh, wait—maybe that's the bad. There's no one to shame me into picking up and putting away my clothes at bedtime.

The real bad side is the loneliness and isolation. I tend to use Facebook to counteract that isolation, and now that I admit that trait, I wonder how many other people (single or coupled) use it the same way.

One of the characteristics of the early stages of dating someone is all the facts you tend to exchange. Things like where you grew up and how many siblings you have and where you've lived and what jobs you've held and why, exactly, your ex did you a favor when he broke up with you.

As you're sitting and listening to the recital of these facts, you have to be focused. You have to not be thinking about the clever response you're going to come out with when he comes to a stopping point in his recital. You have to be focused on what he's saying, and you have to be tucking those facts away for future use or reference.

I may have mentioned that I got marked down on my recent performance appraisal at work for doing the daily crossword puzzle during [boring, seemingly unnecessary] meetings. (Okay, so the "boring, seemingly unnecessary" insertion is mine and was not included in my appraisal.) I explained to my manager, who is in his mid-40s, that after a certain age people, especially women, need to strive constantly to keep their brains alert and working. We are counseled and advised to work a variety of puzzles each week. Sudoku, crosswords, and other logic puzzles all exercise different little niches in our brains and help ensure that we won't forget our own names by the time we're 80.

But it occurs to me that dating over 50, over 55, and soon, over 60, performs the same function. I don't want to seem like I'm not paying attention, so I pay extra careful attention. Instead of trying to remember the word for "Diagonal line, on a bowling score sheet" ("spare"), I try to remember his mother's name, his brothers' names, his cousin's names, his relationship to x or y, what he majored in at the university, where he lived when he was first married, and the rest of the encyclopedia that is his life, thus far.

I'm wondering if I can slack off on the crosswords now that I've changed my focus from word puzzles to life puzzles.

Is there a market for Memory Lessons for [Over-50] Daters?