What is Happiness?

A quote in this morning's Writer's Almanac struck me.

It's the birthday of novelist and screenwriter Marguerite Duras, (books by this author) born in a small village near Saigon in what was then French Indochina (1914). After her father died of dysentery, her mother struggled to support the family, and she was so distracted that she forgot to enroll her children in school. Duras said, "For two years I ran wild; it was probably the time in my life I came closest to complete happiness. At eight, I still couldn't read or write."

I don't think of running wild, of the absence of schedule and discipline, as comprising happiness. Maybe I'm too much a "Type A" personality, but I'm happiest when I have things to do, a schedule, people to whom to report and with whom to interact.

I complain about my commute, but my dear friend JW said to me the other day that the commute is a good time for thinking, and I agree with him wholeheartedly. I'm absorbing lots of literature, catching up on podcasts of radio shows I don't have time to listen to, and catching up with friends on the phone. And thinking.

I'm also trying to read a hardcopy book on my lunch hours in preparation for a book club I'm joining on Monday night. I realized one thing about "reading" an audiobook versus reading a hardcopy book. I'm a writer and editor and proofreader. When I read something on paper or on the screen, I'm constantly looking for errors. It's very hard to just read for content or to enjoy what I'm reading. But when I'm "reading" an audiobook, I'm just absorbing it. There are no semicolons that need to be commas, or misspellings. It's just information that's seeping into my brain.

So back to my thinking time. I realized the other day that I'm happy. Yes, I'm tired. And this morning on my drive in the rain it seemed like the road was 20 miles longer than it really is. But I'm happy. I have a schedule, and people who care whether I make it to work okay, and who are interested in what's going on in my life on a daily basis. It's important that I come home. I haven't had that living situation in a very long time. And yes, there's a learning curve while I adjust to making a difference again, but it's good.

It's all good.