Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Meltdown

Last night I posted all my known musical gigs on my calendar -- through May! I'm exhausted just looking at it and thinking about the constant running. Go to work; come home from work; drop bags, change clothes, grab bags, race out again; come home; drop into bed; repeat ad infinitum. Exhaustion.

This morning I looked in the mirror and just wanted to cry. I don't want to be here. I want to be there. I don't want to be here just trudging through each day, all alone. I want to be there where I can call the kids and take the babies for dinner, giving Ty and Jaci a little break. I want to be there where I can make a difference.

I'm trying to be patient. I'm trying to believe that the time isn't right yet and when it is, it'll happen. But I'm discouraged.

And just plain tired.

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