From Where I Stand

I've been feeling sad lately.

There aren't enough hours in the day. I begrudge my two hour commute. I can't understand how a company with the wherewithal to enable telecommuting on a regular basis can't see the benefits. Every time I have to put on my headset to drown out five conference calls taking place in cubicles around me, I become more disgruntled. I think, "If I were telecommuting, I would be able to edit in silence." When I have to wrap up in a jacket and a shawl and a scarf because two air conditioning vents are strategically positioned so that they blow cold air right into my cubicle, my attitude spirals into the toilet.

All those factors make me wish I could find a different job closer to home or a job that would let me telecommute. And I remember that it took me almost a year to find this job. And I remember that this really is a good job. And I feel the futility.

Then I start feeling that I have no life of my own. And I feel sad about being my age and being alone without a love of my own. And I realize, at my age, I may be alone for the rest of my life. And it all becomes almost too much to bear.

And then a light shines. I remember the four years in hell with EEFFH. I remember being sad that I had to live with a man who ignored me, or who let his daughter treat me like dirt.

Y'know what? I'd rather be alone and lonely than in a relationship and lonely. Any day of the week!