Serial Monogamists vs. the Still Singles, and Aloneness

I subscribe to Dr. Laura Berman's daily newsletter. Today she writes about serial monogamists and still singles.

This year has been about serial monogamy for me, although that's not what I'm seeking. I'm seeking that one good guy who wants to be part of my life for the rest of my life. With each new relationship, it seems "this might be the one". But it isn't. And that's distressing.

As with the difficulty of breaking up the first marriage relative to the ease of breaking up each subsequent marriage, the longer I go through this three-month relationship stage, the quicker I draw the limit on what I'll put up with.

Case in point. When I said to Frank (okay, we're a known number here now - can I please use his name rather than trying to remember his pseudonym?) on Friday that I wanted more, we had just been dating two months.

And we keep plodding along. I saw him on Sunday and we've spoken on the phone several times a day every day this week. And I'm quite fond of him. But he sends mixed messages and I'd like straight talk. Either you want me as a girlfriend or you don't. If you don't, just let go of me. One of my sick days this week, he offered to run to the store for me. I replied, "stop being nice to me."

When we spoke on Friday, he said, "you need to go out and find someone who can give you what you want." And I replied, "Forget it. I'm done. It's not happening. I give up."

Am I in the wrong city? Is Mr. Right-Now-and-Forever in Washington or Youngstown or some city-to-be-named-in-the-future? Am I just going to be alone for the rest of my life?

My dear friend-1800-miles-to-the-north wrote me this morning that he had a new appreciation for my complaints about being alone. His wife had been away for two days and he was faced with buying and preparing his own meals and eating alone and a long lonely night stretching ahead of him. (At least he didn't confess to eating his dinner standing over the sink, which I have been known to do.) If he thinks two days is difficult, he shouldn't try two months or two years.

I don't like alone. I don't like starting new relationships over and over again. I want Mr. Right. If my kids would give me a fully functioning crystal ball for Christmas, I would be one happy girl!