Is Past Behavior a Reliable Predictor of Future Conduct?

Today is one month from when I first met the Gardener face-to-face. I didn't want to know that. I wanted to just kinda sail with and through this relationship without marking months and without even knowing when three months was approaching or passing. But I glanced back at my Google calendar the other day and realized I met him on my lifelong best friend's and my sister-in-law's birthday. Many good things were started on that day. (Well, it's also the anniversary of my first marriage, so . . . . Alright, there were two good things came out of that!)

So I've started wondering why this bevy of former girlfriends — who still call him up and ask him out for dinner on a regular basis — broke up with him. What were they looking for that they didn't see in him? If they didn't-like him enough to stop seeing him romantically, why do they still want to see him socially? Is he the type of guy who is everybody's best friend but nobody's lover?

I don't get it. I don't believe there has been one man in my life that I wanted to still see after breaking up with him. Am I narrow-minded?

Is it just money? Do these women want to enjoy a restaurant and a little male company and they know he'll pick up the check? Is he just a non-threatening man? I wouldn't insult these women he holds in such high esteem by insinuating they're just trying to save a few bucks while having an enjoyable evening. There's got to be more to it than that.

<personal note on>
He told me he gave some of these women this URL. If you're one of his women friends, I'd love for you to add a comment here and 'splain it to me.
<personal note off>

But back to today's topic. Should I be alert for red flags? Should I know what they know or what they perceived as I get deeper into this relationship as a forewarning or a sanity check? Or should I just say "lucky me" that they didn't snatch him up and I get to enjoy his attention and his sense of humor and his joie de vivre?

That's it. Maybe I'll try some new behavior — not worrying about every fricking little thing. Their loss is my gain.

[I am absolutely not complaining. I am not threatened by these women, as I was by Mr. Match's ex-fiance and all his Match.com women. The Gardener's dinner non-dates with his woman friends gives me time to do my laundry!]