An alternative dating site

I object to the fact that we who are of a certain age have to engage in marketing ourselves to get a date. It should be easier. We shouldn't have to try so hard, to compete so vociferously to gain someone's attention.

One of the common attributes across online dating sites is the "here's what's outstanding about me" set of questions. Movies I like/music I like/activities I like/my best feature. The only place where you can say what you really don't like is Match's "turn-offs".

So what I'm proposing is an alternative dating site where you say what your worst feature is. Of course, very few people agree with you about your shortcomings — we are always hypercritical about ourselves. My conversation on this subject over dinner with Rob and Sue this evening illustrated that point. We were talking about our worst physical features and personality traits. I said my worst physical feature was my hair and Sue immediately said "no". Rob said he didn't like his nose, but I didn't see that at all. And I said my worst personality trait was that I say what's on my mind and sometimes people find offense in that. But someone might counter that statement by saying that I was just truth-telling. I guess this self-examination is the inverse of beauty being in the eye of the beholder: shortcomings are in the eye of those who possess those traits.

My friend, the kayaker, states very clearly in his profile what he won't do: What I do NOT do is watch or talk about movies or programs with senseless, and/or graphic violence. That's important to him, important enough to lay it out there and put all winkers on notice.

Mr. Match and I were talking last night about truth-in-advertising on Match. He suggests that to be able to register and post a profile on a dating site, the potential registrants should have to show up at some office somewhere, government-issued photo ID in hand, and prove their height, weight and age. I believe they should have to show every legal document that has ever been filed: marriage, divorce, and criminal record. Are we taking the magic out of the whole equation? I tell you, there's no magic in having your heart broken.

Maybe we should also require that each person posting a profile have been through x years of therapy. We should be able to view the baggage claim checks for all that old stuff, to prove it's been dealt with.

And I'll finish with a comment on Match's turn-ons and turn-offs. I never respond to a man who has skinny dipping listed as one of his turn-ons. Guys, you've stated in your profile that you're looking for a woman between 50 and death. We're post-menopausal. It takes a lot of engineering to "move 'em up and head 'em out". Very few of us are hot for skinny-dipping. If we're nekkid, we want to be prone, either face up or face down, where gravity is our friend!

It ain't easy out here.