Friday, October 14, 2022

Thoughts on the Inability to Say No

This morning, I started to write an email to a blogger acquaintance who has studied with the same sewing and creativity teacher with whom I've studied. As I was writing and pouring more of my heart out into the email, I realized I wanted to keep this email and be able to refer back to it to make sure I've learned all available life lessons it had to offer. So that intended email is becoming a blog post on my seldom used everything-other-than-sewing-and-travel blog. Let the learning begin!

This semester, I have gotten in over my head. I did it to myself—I own it! How? Here are the components that have, one by one, become attached to each other like magnets.

I agreed last spring to play for a Christmas program at a community theatre the next county and state over. Since the first show I played for this theatre back in 2013 or 2014, I have received such love from these people, I just want to play with and for them. They let me do my own thing on the piano with their singers and not stick to the printed black dots. When they ask, I try to answer "Yes," as I know I'm going to have a ball with them.

Then my neighbor and friend, the professor who is head of the voice department at Youngstown State, asked if I'd come back to YSU and play for her students, as one of the accompanists had quit this year. I tried to keep my number of students to five, but now I've got eight. More (classical) music to learn, more lessons to attend, and more weekly performances to accompany to help these students learn and perfect their art form. (For the record, I'd rather be playing musical theatre and oldies than classical, but where there's a need ....)

Then my favorite musical theatre professor asked if I'd be the rehearsal accompanist for YSU's production of "Godspell." I love working with the MT students at YSU. They pour love all over me every day. [Sidenote: I had a narcissistic adoptive mother who was emotionally abusive, with the result that I grew up with no self esteem. These young people give me a whole new perspective on who I am - at 72! I adore them for what they've given me.] But then the professor went out on FMLA because of some issues at home, and suddenly everything was different. How lucky that the person who was hired to fill the absence in the department is a fabulous musician, teacher, and director. The show is going on, and all is well. I was able to bring in my favorite collaborative pianist sidekick, who plays on Thursday nights, giving me a break in the 5-nights-a-week rehearsal schedule. She also plays any time I have a conflict, which keeps a lot of cogs moving around.

When the previous professor asked me to be rehearsal pianist, I confirmed with her that I wouldn't have to play in the pit band. I prefer playing for rehearsals, and don't love being in the pit. But you can hear it coming, can't you? Now I'm going to be in the pit the weekends of 11/12 and 11/19.

Then I received a request to accompany the opera chorus for Opera Western Reserve as they prepare for their production of "La Boheme," which will be staged Nov. 11 at Stambaugh Auditorium. That means four Sunday nights of rehearsals, that will happen when I'm usually out for Mexican dinner with our friends. And more importantly, it means I've got a lot of choral music to learn.

And then there's the National Association of Teachers of Singing (NATS) Ohio auditions on Oct. 22, being held at Baldwin Wallace University, 75 miles away. And we have six students competing for the honors and prizes. And I'm playing for all six. New music to learn. And because of NATS' very strict copyright law policy, a bunch of music must be bought, as my comfort level is playing on an iPad with a page turn pedal to solve that problem, not playing from paper with a very kind graduate student turning the pages for me.

I have two senior recitals and two junior recitals coming up, again with a whole bunch of music on each recital.

[I didn't mention two Music at Noon performances I played at the Butler Institute of American Art, one on Sep. 28 for the Musical Theatre department and one on Oct. 5 for the Classical Voice studios. Or the rehearsal I played for Stambaugh Chorus so their regular accompanist could play for Yom Kippur service. Or the choir rehearsal—Messiah, of course—I've got to play in November.]

And finally, the day after the NATS audition in Berea, OH, is the voice studio fall recital in Bliss Hall. Seven students to accompany in performance. And then head straight to my Boheme chorus rehearsal.

I reiterate, I did this to myself. I find it very difficult to say "no" where I see a need. And every penny I earn through all these musical activities is going to pay at least half of the cost of our cruise/tour of the Inside Passage and Denali National Park next May. So there's that!

And while I was busy with music, the Jazzman was contacting contractors and figuring out how to best repair our side porch, which was built in 1927 and covered with cracks. We wanted to preserve the cold room that was hidden underneath it, in case I ever started canning vegetables. No, I joke. I will never start canning anything. But, in my mind, having the coldroom there preserves the integrity of this wonderful old house. The benefit of this rebuild is that it won't collapse when we have fifteen friends sitting around it. The downside is we didn't think ahead about the contractor's use of a concrete saw and the amount of dust it would generate. The door between the cold room and my sewing room was open during the reconstruction, and my entire sewing room is now covered in dust. Fortunately, when we realized what was happening, we ran downstairs and quickly grabbed every blanket and drop cloth we could find to cover my fabrics and machines. Also, not enough and not soon enough. And with my level of music busy-ness, it's going to be Thanksgiving break before I have a moment to go into that room and start ridding it of dust. Oy.

The concrete work, clockwise from top left. Before; during the dust storm; shoring up the cold room; the finished product; and we redid the base of the driveway.

Oh, the photo at the top? That signifies the "big five" wildlife that are a Denali sightseer's prize: moose, bears, Dall sheep, caribou, and wolves. That cruise will be worth every moment of practice I had to invest in making this very difficult semester run its course. Photo credit: Alaska Tour and Travel, alaska.com

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