Again With the Teasing

My friend Gail and I were whispering about the weekend as we stood backstage Friday night waiting to go on for our five minutes of Beethoven. A week or so ago she asked if I wanted to go with her to see a one-man show about the life and music of George Gershwin. I said I'd better not spend the money.

As we were talking about my Saturday afternoon flight to L.A. for dinner (what a jet-setter!), she asked if I had packed. I said no, that I still wasn't sure what clothes I was going to take.

I mentioned that I had ordered a pair of jeans from Nordstrom but they hadn't come in yet. She, who was with me when I tried on my first pair of Not Your Daughter's Jeans at South Coast Plaza, said "you already have three pair of jeans." I retorted, "but these are black." She protested, "you have a pair of black jeans." "But," I replied, "those are cropped and these are long."

Her final thrust? "No wonder you can't afford concert tickets if you keep buying $200 jeans." "But they're only $100," I replied. Our whispered laughter died down as we parted and I went back to my place in line.

I knew she was teasing, and I know Gail cares for me, but it bothered me just a little.

Each of us has our own obligations, and we try to manage them to the best of our abilities. I pick and choose my expenditures. I keep TiVo, but I dropped HBO. I go out to eat too frequently but I'm frugal and healthful in my grocery purchases. I'm dropping my SpaOne membership so I can start really start saving for December, when my tenants will have moved out.

The bottom line? It's my business. It's personal.

What topics should be fair game for teasers? I maintain personal topics such as money, religion and politics may be off-limits. And areas over which one has no control, such as physical characteristics or personal situations, should have limits on teasing. And when the teasing borders on the barbed, the cruel, lines should be drawn.

I guess my primary focus on—and bias against—teasing comes from my brothers who (in my opinion) teased me with a total lack of love and affection.

Maybe I need to relearn how teasing is done with affection.