Yesterday I received an e-mail from a man who had contacted me on cupid.com about four months ago. After a couple of short e-mails back and forth, he asked if I wanted to meet at Starbucks for "coffee, tea, or a kiss." What?! I've never had a conversation with this man. What on earth made him think any decent woman would want to go straight for the kiss.
He's 44 years old and 5'7". I'm 57 years old and 5'8" in flats, which I never wear. So in public I'm 5'10" or 5'11". I thanked him for his invitation and said I thought I'd pass, mentioning the age issue.
He e-mailed me back that I looked like a MIL*. I will not repeat the acronym here. (If you're that curious, you can figure it out by Googling, or e-mail me and I'll tell you what it is. Although I'll blush as I'm telling you.) This is the second time in my life I'd ever heard that term, and I find it highly offensive.
So if I'm all about honesty, I would have said to him, "I find that offensive." But I didn't. I just blocked further communications from him. I have no investment here to protect.
On the other hand, the Professor stated over and over in the six weeks we were involved that he was honest. "Just Bob from Fargo" is what I heard repeatedly. When he said he couldn't see me anymore, he said he had stuff to work on; that his breakup with the 41yo woman whom he saw for six months and was in love with until she dumped him to move to San Francisco alone was too new and too painful; that he wasn't ready to be in a relationship again.
And yet I look on cupid.com and he's out there every day and has even changed his profile photo to a "hotter" photo.
Don't tell me you're not ready to be in a relationship and yet go out every day looking for more women. Be honest. Tell me you don't want a relationship with me.
Okay, so maybe I'll feel hurt. But I'll get over it. I certainly don't want a man who's "not that into" me.
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