Living in Limbo

I've had several conversations with old friends over the past couple of days. I realize each time one of these friends asks "how are you", I'm answering in a rather depressed-sounding voice. I'm faced with decisions and have never had to make decisions like these before. I'm not enjoying this period in my life.

Most of my significant jobs and life changes have come about serendipitously. One of the best examples occurred about seven hours before John's death. A man who was the instructor of a Lotus Notes class I had taken two years previously called me out of the blue and asked if I'd like to come work for his company. That led to the highest-paying job I had ever had. I foolishly left that job to move to Tucson with Steve. Gotta love hindsight!

I scour Monster and USAJobs and various companies' web sites, but very little interests or excites me. I apply to everything that excites me or for which I feel my skills and experience are a good fit. One of the most significant of these, a solutions analyst for Blackbaud software, was a perfect fit, but Blackbaud responded, "thanks, but no thanks". Why couldn't they recognize me from my résumé?

I'm having a hard time not knowing where I'll be six months from now, and not even being able to project possibilities.

Patience. It's never been one of my long suits!