Actions Speak Louder Than . . . Actions

Every time I tried to talk to Mr. Match about his still being out on Match.com, tried to indicate to him that his talk was hurtful to me — talk of meeting more women, of sampling one of each kind before deciding he wanted to settle down again — he would say "Actions speak louder than words, and just look at how much time I spend with you." I would concede that he had a valid point.

And yet, over the three months we were together, we never spent significant weekend time together. He always had things he had to do — laundry, house cleaning, errands, hair cuts, research for stock trades, consulting work. I would get lunch or dinner or a movie, but that was all. There was never a spontaneous let's-just-go-have-fun.

When I'm interested in someone, I want to spend time with him. I want to hang out, do nothing, spend time together and get to know each other better. In short, go places and do things, or go nowhere and do nothing. Just spend time together. I never got that with Mr. Match. Everything else in his life was more important than me, the woman he was telling "I'm in love with you."

I got a little dose of dating reality yesterday. I went up to the Gardener's place early in the morning to sit out in the garden and share pastries and a cuppa. Then the time I had carved out for that activity lapsed and I told him I had to leave. I told him I was going to look at adoptable cats and asked if he wanted to go with me, fully expecting him to beg off because of all the things he needed to do with his day. To my astonishment, he said yes. We hopped in the little Wrangler and took off. After "Marcello" decided I was his new mom-to-be, the Gardener said, "let's go look through those little antique shops you've always wanted to see". After an hour, I said, "I'm hungry. Can I buy you to lunch?" And he said yes. And activity followed activity, time followed time.

All this spontaneity lasted for about six hours! Six Hours! Six hours of someone wanting to be with me, to spend time with me, wanting our time together not to end. Can you imagine?!

I'm awestruck. Simply awestruck.