Who Do You Know?

I've been thinking a lot about death lately. No, I don't think I'm being morbid. I think I'm being practical.

My 66yo brother almost died twice in the past six weeks. He is the trustee of the family trust that enables Mother's shopping habit. My other brother and I don't have any information about the logistics of the trust—at least we didn't until Jerry's most recent heart scares. Now Jim has the information he would need if something happened to Jerry.

I have not had a current will for six years—since EEFFH and I broke up and I voided that will. When I look around me and see the mess my finances and legal matters are in, I realize that my children would kill me if I died and dropped this mess in my hands. Well, if I weren't already dead, they'd kill me!

So I have seen an attorney and am getting everything organized so I will drop a neatly-packaged bundle in my children's laps when I go. They will not have to deal with the probate court. They won't have to worry about anything except getting rid of my things that they have no interest in possessing.

But that got me thinking about things other than just the property. Do my children know enough about me to write an obituary—at least one that control-freak me would find acceptable?

What would I want to be mentioned? Studying with Nadia Boulanger; being the first pianist at Walt Disney World; making beautiful music to shop by at Nordstrom for ten years. Activities? Membership in Pi Beta Phi; membership on the board of directors for Tucson Chamber Artists for two years. Choruses? The Washington Chorus, Tucson Symphony Orchestra Chorus, Akron Symphony Chorus, Blossom Festival Chorus, and—hopefully to be added this week—Cleveland Orchestra Chorus.

When John was nearing the end of his life, I had a Word file containing all the information I needed for his obituary, which I had fact-checked with him. I knew most of the information, and was proud of knowing him that well, to that level of detail, that I could prepare his obituary.

But I don't think anyone knows me that well, and in light of that, assembling the information is the thoughtful—okay, the control freak—thing to do.

What do you want the world to know or remember about you after you're gone?

Does anyone in your family or circle of friends know that information? If you answered yes to that question, I think you're living a charmed life.