Yes, I cut off a driver when I was trying to get over for my Starbucks (free pastry) exit this morning. I looked. I didn't see him. Yes, he was driving a big white SUV. I just didn't see him, okay? It was not a near miss—it was merely an inconvenience. I raised my hand, all five fingers spread, in apology as soon as I realized what I had done.
As I pulled onto the exit and the SUV passed me on the left, the passenger in the back seat rolled down his window (in the rain) and lifted a finger in tribute. Thanks, that made my day.
But did it make yours? What is the purpose of expressing that sort of hateful anger to a stranger? Are you of the attitude that the entire world is out to get you? Could the offender merely have made a mistake, a misstep, an error?
I've tried a couple of times to express that sort of tribute to a fellow driver, and each time I do, my hand cramps up. (Well, my gesture is not out the window or visible—it's usually below window level, pointed at the passenger door.) (Oh, stop laughing!) I am emotionally incapable of behaving in that manner, and my body reacts negatively when I attempt to override that inability. My hand hurts and I feel like a fool.
So, Mr. White SUV Passenger, did your day improve by throwing that birdie out the window toward me? Is your day now a good day, filled with happiness and peace? No? Then cut it out. Be nice! Cut your fellow human beings some slack.
I choose to believe that everyone has the best intentions and it's only the exceptional few who are malicious.
I could be wrong. I could be Pollyanna. But that's my credo and I'm sticking to it.
3 comments:
There is nothing wrong with being Pollyanna! If there were more Pollyanna's in this world it would be a better place! There have been times I have been travelling with various people, and they have reacted because someone cuts them off or is rude in some way and they have said something to the effect "Did you see that?!? What an idiot!! Wonder what his problem is!" To which I have promptly replied, he just found out his mother or sister or daughter or father or son has cancer. The person will usually stare at you perplexed and say "WHAT!! You don't know that!!" To which I always reply ... "and you don't know it's not true! Unless you are walking in someone else's moccasins, you are not in a position to judge how their day/life is going!"
I must admit I love to give them something to think about ... does that make me a Pollyanna too? :-)
Jeannie, I believe I held this attitude - somewhat - before John's battle against cancer. But I'm sure I'm much more sensitive to what's-important since John's death. Do you think you changed in the process of becoming a widow? I'd be interested in hearing my friend Tani's reaction to this train of thought.
Thanks for your comment.
Yes Jan, I definitely changed in the process of becoming a widow. I think I have always had a view of what is important in life and a do unto others as you would have others do unto you attitude. It is inherent in my personality. And Roy's bout with cancer in the 90's really made us focus on what we thought was important ... in our own relationship with each other and with our relationships in general. And that is how we lived. But then losing him like I did, brought everything into razor focus. Perhaps the suddenness of his accident played a part? I mean you truly can be here, enjoying life one instant, and be gone the next. Just like that! POUFF! You can battle diabetes and cancer and various other things over the years and survive and yet POUFF! be gone in an instant. It's kind of crazy and some may say depressing?? But those would be the negative persons who just don't get it yet (and probably never will). It truly brought into focus that we need to concentrate on the important things in life. Be kind. Be generous. Be understanding. And be forgiving. When my "POUFF" moment arrives, I don't want to be leaving with regrets ... :-)
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