She's Baaaaack!

I have returned from my 40th high school reunion. I expected the girls to look much better than the guys, but the guys all looked pretty darned good, too.

I had been having a conversation, both e-mail and phone, with one classmate (male) to whom I had felt a very strong connection for 40+ years. I expected this weekend to include some heart-to-heart talks, but we really only spoke for about five minutes at the Saturday night dinner. He is at the point of changing his life completely, and that new life clearly doesn't have a niche where I would fit in. That was surprising, but not really disappointing. You've heard me say before, "I don't want anybody who doesn't want me."

I did some taking care of myself this weekend. The hotel I had booked was an absolute dive - the worst hotel I've ever set foot in, bar none. I didn't even spend one night there. I showered and changed and raced to the Friday night function (delayed flight + lots of traffic = arriving 15 minutes late to the event). When I got back to the hotel around 10:30, I couldn't even stand the thought of taking off my clothes to crawl into that bed. So I threw everything in the suitcase, called a Quality Inn down the road, and checked out of the Remington Inn, throwing away $50. I was mentally patting myself on the back.

The Saturday morning event went on about an hour longer than it should have. Representatives of all the honor classes spoke and, just like the Academy Awards, told anecdotes that lasted beyond their allotted time. Then we had class pictures. Then several of us went out to lunch with my brother, Jerry.

The class gathered at one girl's house for the afternoon and it was a very nice, relaxed time. The evening dinner was fun but the restaurant was noisy (the band started at 8:30 or so in the main dining room and we could hardly hear ourselves talk).

Overall, it was nice to see these people. I had breakfast at the hotel on Sunday morning with a guy I hadn't really known and when we parted I told him I was sorry I hadn't taken the time to get to know him when we were in high school.

On Saturday I was able to right a wrong that's been bothering me since 1984. Beverly and Barbara Schmidt (whatever their married names are) sang at Daddy's memorial service, and they were listed in the program as "The Schmidt Twins". How depersonalizing! I was horrified at the time it happened, and have felt bad about it everytime I've looked through my memorabilia of Daddy. I saw them on Saturday as we were leaving for lunch and told them I was sorry that had happened. They, of course, didn't remember it at all. But I've now done what, for me, was the right thing.

A friend of mine from Washington, Evonne, was at the reunion. She is married to one of my classmates and she and I met in Washington and became friends. She is a violinist and I accompanied several of her students in violin competitions. She told me that my great love, Emil, finally married two years ago. His Japanese first wife had died in childbirth with their second child, a daughter. The daughter was five when he and I met. Everyone fell in love with everyone - he and I, his daughter and I. The only one who didn't fall in love was his mother, who was his primary child care provider. She started telling him lies about me and he couldn't stand up to her for fear of losing her as the caregiver. His daughter was a senior in high school and his son was in college when he finally remarried. His new wife is African-American. When I told my friend, Judy, about this at lunch in Tampa on Sunday, she said he must have had to get someone who was the polar opposite of his late wife to be able to move forward with his life.

The great wish I had at the close of the reunion was that I had been less self-centered in high school, that I had devoted more energy to the uncool kids, the shy kids, the kids who needed friends, instead of only wanting to be around the kids I felt the most in common with.

Other fun or meaningful things I did in Orlando: drove by the house my parents lived in when Terry and I were married; drove by the house Terry and I lived in when both TJ and Tyler were born; drive out to Clermont and had lunch with my college suitemate, Cindy, and drove past the Citrus Tower. (There's a blast from the past!) Went to Winter Park and walked a few blocks on Park Avenue.

There are very few places in Orlando where you can see the sleepy southern town that it was in the 50s and 60s. The Mouse has totally changed that city. But what fun to drive through and see those old neighborhoods, with the stucco houses and Spanish moss hanging from the live oaks. The charm still exists — you just have to know where to find it.

I'll share more about the trip as the days pass, but for now I'm exhausted and going to sleep.