Why Write?

Tyler has a paying writing gig for the Tucson Symphony Orchestra. He writes program notes for all works being performed this season in the Classic and MasterWorks series. It's a tedious task and the pay is not commensurate with the amount of effort required to produce the work-product, as is common with all non-profit gigs. If the term "program notes" means nothing to you, I'll explain &mdash: He researches the work being performed and writes a few paragraphs about the composer and maybe what was going on in the world or in the composer's life that led to the composition of the work. He delves into the work itself and finds some notable (no pun intended) passages and gives the concertgoer something to listen for. He's been doing a fabulous job. He has honored me with the opportunity to edit his work, and I love all the musical trivia I'm learning. The feedback I hear from TSO friends is all positive, which makes this mama smile.

The other night at dinner, Tyler and I were discussing why people write and how they keep motivated to write. He asked how I keep posting something here each and every day, for six months now. So I've been thinking about that.

The first month I had lots to say, lots of thoughts running through my mind every day on the topic of dating over age 50. I was very quickly completely smitten with Mr. Match, as he indicated he was with me. Then, as he kept seeking what Dr. Phil calls the BBD (Bigger Better Deal), I got more and more frustrated and needed a place to vent about it. When the blog was still public, there were 25-30 people reading each day. If I didn't post first thing in the morning, there were people who would e-mail me to ask where my post was, saying they needed their morning fix. I got many e-mails expressing thoughts and opinions that the writer simply didn't wish to place in a comment. In fact, Mr. Match's daughter checked in from Atlanta four or five times a day and thanked me for giving her a peak inside her dad's life, as he didn't call her frequently enough for her to really know what was going on with him.

What started out for me as therapy-without-the-therapist quickly turned into something I absolutely loved doing. I was shocked at how pleasurable it was. I've never been a journal writer, always feeling intimidated with a completely blank page under my pen. Also, I far prefer typing to writing, so that was another issue. I started journaling on January 1, 2006, but only when I bought a five-year journal with enough space for precisely one paragraph for each day.

Early on I was very careful to stick to the topic of dating. The only diversion was to include stories about previous relationships that served, I hoped, to explain some of my attitudes toward dating. Then I took several trips and included a travelogue to allow the readers to share my experiences.

Now we're in a new year and my life has turned upside down and inside out. I've been through four relationships in one year. My kids are imminently moving away and I'll be totally without local family. Honestly, if I didn't have another date for the next six months, I'd be perfectly happy.

So now lots of non-dating things are coming out, and I think maybe more of me and who I am is coming out. I think maybe my sons are getting to know their mom as kids normally don't know their parents. I'm hoping they're enjoying it, and I'm hoping to memorialize some of myself to them to pass down to their kids or future wife in case I don't live to 75 or whatever.

And along the way, I'm enjoying this writing. And friends e-mail me that they enjoy reading it. I don't know about writers who get paid for a living (oh, almost forgot, I do get paid to write for a living &mdash LOL), but I keep writing to memorialize my life, document and discuss the great puzzles of life, and keep you entertained.