Door to Door

Nine years ago I left a relationship and started all over again, again. My beloved heart-of-my-heart grandchildren were two years old and three months old. When choosing my venue for starting all over again, again, I found a house that was one mile away from their house. We said, "Someday the kids will ride their bikes to Grandma's house."

Last week it happened. They are now a-few-days-short-of-11 and two-months-past-9. Yes, their mother drove alongside them for the inaugural ride, but they did it!

And may there be many more bike rides to and from Grandma's!

How to / How not to

I've been thinking a lot lately about marriage—specifically, my parents' marriage.

I've divulged a number of times that I never saw my parents kiss in my entire life. Wait, that's not entirely true. Once, when I was about 11 or 12, we three kids were standing in the kitchen and, for some reason, egged them on. "Kiss him, kiss him," we chanted to Mother. She did. A peck on the cheek.

Daddy graduated from medical school at the age of 31 and started his medical practice in Orlando. Orlando, pre-Mouse, was a quiet little city of orange groves and dairy farms. The downtown strip was populated by Ivey's and Dickson-Ives department stores and a few banks and insurance agencies. Florida Sanitarium & Hospital, where Daddy's patients would go for surgery, was growing. Today it is Florida Hospital, and is a major medical presence throughout Central Florida and beyond. Daddy's first office was on Magnolia Avenue. Then, with his patient base grew, he was able to buy the lot on the corner of Hillcrest and Shine and build his own office. A savvy businessman, he built a building that would make money for him, with extra offices he could rent out to other doctors.

His medical practice encompassed family medicine, obstetrics, and general surgery. Many was the night he hopped out of bed at 2:00 a.m. after only a couple hours of sleep to go deliver another baby. But it was the surgery aspect that he loved the most. And his patients loved him.

However, the price of his success was long and taxing hours. He left the house around 6:00 a.m. each day, returning home around 11:00 p.m. He'd drive first to the hospital and make rounds. Then he'd stop at some diner between the hospital and his office for breakfast, arriving at his office around 8:00. He'd see patients all day, grabbing a bite at noon and on the way back to the hospital for evening rounds. Then there was paperwork and medical reports.

Mother, trained as a nurse, never worked after his graduation. My oldest brother was born a year before Daddy graduated, and their second son was born the year after they moved from Loma Linda to Orlando. When I was adopted in 1950, she had two boys in elementary school and a maid, Emma Hooks, who would come in each day to help Mother with the laundry and cleaning and the new baby.

As he grew busier, and as the children grew, she turned more to her church. She would drop everything and do anything when asked by anyone from her church. They got all her energy and her attention. Oh, and how she loved to shop! The more he worked to bring in money to increase the family's security, the more she would spend. I remember, once when I was in high school, him coming into my room and parodying her actions, sitting on the bed and patting the cover all around him, "I went shopping today and spent $100, but I don't know where it went." And this in an era when $100 was real money.

I loved him dearly. He made me feel like I had worth and value. In contrast, I felt no love for her. She criticized me continually and made me feel like I was dumb, ugly and incompetent. She criticized everyone behind their backs; me, she criticized to my face. As often as possible about every possible topic. She had a lifelong negative impact on me.

As he worked harder and came home more exhausted, she did nothing to alleviate his tension, to provide comfort and succor, to make him feel any more loved than I felt, to give him a "soft place to fall," in Dr. Phil-speak.

I will not deny that she added value. The home was spotless. The meals were nutritious and served on time to the children, with leftovers tucked into the refrigerator for his later arrival. The children were enrolled in and delivered to church school, church events, and music lessons. Recitals were attended. But love was not bestowed.

He was doing the best he could to provide for the family, and he was running on empty. All the time. It's amazing his first heart attack only came when he was 58.

I always wanted him to leave her. When I was getting my first divorce, I asked him why he never left her. He replied clearly, indicating years of reflection: "I knew I couldn't get you, and I couldn't stand to leave you behind."

I remember once hearing her yell at him, "You can have a divorce, and I'll nail you to the wall." Nice. You hear a lot of "What can we do to make this better" in that statement, don't you?!

But I learned, from my relationship with him and from observing their marriage, what to do and what not to do. I now have a wonderful man in my life who works every bit as hard as my daddy did. I tell him I love him as he walks out the door in the morning. I tell him I love him the last thing before our eyes close at night. I strive to keep his stash of lunch stuff stocked so he easily throw something interesting in his bag to carry onto the train cab. I try to keep the house tidy and the lawn mowed and an interesting supper available so he has a peaceful environment to come home to. I spend as little as possible to avoid being a burden to him. I tell him frequently how much I appreciate all he does for me.

And as a result, I have the most wonderful, supportive, companionable relationship I've ever had. At 62!!

What a lucky girl I was and am, then and now.

Feeling F*ing Old

I believe I mentioned on more than one recent occasion that my knees are bothering me. I was in pain almost every day we were in Italy during May. At times, knee pain woke me during the night when I shifted positions. But it was erratic.

Some days it was the left knee, some days the right. One or two days were good, with no pain in either knee. But there were days I couldn't walk without pain.

When I returned, I saw the orthopedist, who shot both knees full of cortisone and said he'd see me in about four months when it wore off.

But then I thought I was young again and did some landscaping work in the back yard. Oops. Bad decision. I was trying to chop a root that was in the way of the brick border I was installing on a bed of hostas and day lilies. I chopped and chopped with the shovel, then stupidly hopped on the shovel. When the shovel turned, I turned with it, hearing lots of snaps, crackles and pops as my left foot slammed into the earth and my left knee gave way.

A shot of cortisone evidently cannot counteract stupidity. Last week we spent our annual week at Madison-on-the-Lake, and every step was accompanied by pain. Almost the only time I was without pain was when I was standing in cold Lake Erie, flexing my left knee.

No we're back home. I called the ortho's office this morning, but the secretary has not called me back. I asked to see my doctor ASAP, but we must have different definitions of ASAP.

How much pain am I in? I want to sit and cry. Just cry!

When am I not in pain? When I'm sitting on the couch with an icepack on my knee.

How much am I enjoying being past 60 years of age and all the health challenges that involves? Not so much.

The photo above is from my birthday weekend in 2010, about a month after all this knee nonsense began with a fall and a torn left medial meniscus.

In case you haven't figured it out, aging is not for wimps!!!

In Love With an Object

When the Jazzman told me he was getting me an iPad for my birthday, I was conflicted. I had wanted to get him one for Christmas, but had never thought it was something I really needed.

The purchase occurred three days ago, and I'm already in love with this inanimate object.

My first feeling of love came when I was looking at some photos. The retina display on the new iPad is the most crisp, brilliant display I've ever seen. You thought your HDTV was some fine viewing? Pick up an iPad and look at some of your favorite photos. Just incredible!

The day after getting the iPad, I dropped my iPhone. I'm prone to dropping my iPhone, but this time it hit the pavement at just the right angle to shatter the screen. When I told Tyler I was headed to the Apple store in Cleveland for a new phone, I asked if he needed anything. Of course he replied, "A new MacBook Pro with retina display." After seeing images on the retina display, I could fully understand his wish.

My second realization of my love came this morning. When I wake up in the morning, some two hours after the Jazzman has gotten up and left for work, I reach for my phone. I read my mail and then see what's happening with my friends on Facebook. This morning as I sat flipping from Facebook to knitting and sewing blogs, I was stunned by the clarity of the images. Then I followed a link to read an article in the New Yorker and was thrilled with the size of the print and the page. I didn't have to keep moving the page back and forth on the device screen to be able to read an article. It didn't hurt my eyes!!!

So, after thinking the Jazzman would have done better to just give me a pedicure gift certificate, I'm thrilled and happy to have my new tool.

Thanks to the Jazzman for knowing me better than I know myself!

Notes from Italy

Reviewing my notes from the first full day in Torino, I find lots of very interesting things to share with you. I'm listing them in the order they were presented to us, as our coach and guide took us around Torino. (Photo: Our guide, Mateo. Note the perfectly cinched trench coat and the brilliant blue shoes.)

Porta Susa station

We saw a large construction project, and the guide explained that this was the Porta Susa train station. Here's a photo. As it was explained to us, Turin will be the first city in Europe with no trains above ground. It is currently the largest construction project in Europe. As I understood the guide, Turin will be the hub for all high-speed trains in Europe. Their metro system is installing a line from Porta Susa to the existing Porto Nuova station to access standard trains.

The Wikipedia account says the station was to be finished in 2011, but when we were there mid-May in 2012, it was still under construction. It's really going to be a spectacular building when completed. (Another account says it "will be completed" in 2009 and says it will be served by all levels of trains: high-speed, regional, local and metro.

White Magic/Black Magic

Turin is said to be a magic city, being part of two magic triangles. The black magic triangle consists of Turin, London and San Francisco. The white magic triangle consists of Turin, Prague and Lyon. Walking Tour of Torino. An interesting account from the Washington Post. One more account: "powerful energy center of the Earth". If you're interested in more articles, google 'white black magic turin'.

Architecture

Turin, along with Milan, was considered the Art Nouveau capital. Most of this work was done between the end of the 19th Century and the beginning of the 20th Century. In Italy, "Art Nouveau" was also called "Stile Libery," a salute to the Liberty & Co. stores in London. (Sewists, you know Liberty cotton. Same source.) Photos of typical Turin architecture. Another fine account of architecture in Turin.

Streets

The early colony that would become Torino was laid out in the traditional checkerboard style. Later, diagonal roads were added to give the king a quick way to get out of the city.

From the palace to the banks of the Po River lies the diagonal "Via Po." The buildings on Via Po have porticos along the front. On one side, the porticos cross the side streets, making it difficult today for busses and trucks to navigate the turn. On the other side, the porticos stop at the corner of the building and start again across the side street on the corner of the next building. The side that had the continuous portico? That was for the royal party to use. The side that forced you to get wet when crossing the street? For the regular people like you and me. Mentions the checkerboard layout. You might find interesting this blog post in the Washington Post talking about the porticos. (A note from our guide: the porticos in Torino are in the Baroque style, while the porticos in Bologna are Medieval.)

Pietro Micca

I had written down "Pietro Micca" with no idea why. Googling led me to this interesting account, which demonstrates the important role just one person could play in blocking the enemy.

Film

The first movie shot in Torino was the 1914 Cabiria. For many years it was considered, along with D.W. Griffith's "Judith of Bethulia", to be the first feature films, but that has since been disproved. However, it was notable for the first use of a camera dolly. Cabiria was restored and screen at the Cannes Film Festival in 2006. Martin Scorese introduced the film, and his remarks are available here. The Wikipedia page contains more interesting facts.

Cinecittà is said to be the greatest cinema complex in the world. Because of its early cinema history, Torino is inextricably linked to the cinema industry.

V.E.R.D.I.

In Italy, the nationalist phrase "Viva Vittorio Emanuele Re d'Italia!" ("Long live Victor Emmanuel king of Italy") was hidden from the Austrian enemy by its acronym Viva VERDI!, that passed for a praise of the music of Giuseppe Verdi.

Relics of Christ

There are religious historians who believe that all three of the major relics of Christ are located in Turin. It is believed that the Holy Grail is buried under Chiesa della Gran Madre di Dio. The shroud is located in the Chapel of the Shroud in the back of that same building. Our tour guide also said something about a piece of the original cross also being in that same building, but I could not find any references to this—it's just what I scribbled down as the guide was talking.

UNESCO World Heritage Sites

I had never heard of UNESCO until last year, when the Jazzman and I were planning our vacation in Ireland. (Talk about a sheltered upbringing!) Our guide spoke about the number of sites in Italy that are UNESCO sites. The key here is that war is not allowed in a UNESCO protected site. (Of course, the cynic would ask how you're going to stop someone intent on waging war ….) The residences of the Royal House of Savoy in Torino are UNESCO World Heritage Sites, as are Porto Venere and the villages in the Cinque Terre. Also on this list are the Holy Mountains of the Piedmont.

Mole Antonelliana

This building is the largest brick building in the world. It is the primary landmark in Turin—at 548 feet in height, it's visible throughout the area. Originally constructed as a synagogue, it now houses the Museo Nazionale del Cinema. Wikipedia. A lovely photo of Mole Antonelliana on this blog, along with other great pictures.

Villa Scott

Because of the link to the cinema industry and the money that can produce, some fabulous villa were constructed in Torino in the early 20th Century. One of those is Villa Scott. It is a significant example of Stile Liberty. "Deep Red" was filmed here, associated with the aura of black magic in Torino.

Exploring Turin's Black Magic

There are evening tours in Torino that will tell you more about the links to black magic.

Piazza Vittorio Veneto

Everybody's gotta be superlative at something! Piazza Vittorio Veneto is the largest square without a statute in all of Europe.

Bicerin

Torino is known for the coffee drink called Bicerin. Served in a small cup or glass, the bottom is covered with a bitter hot chocolate, then topped with espress, then with hand-whipped cream. Caffè Bicerin is the distinctive cafe in which to try this drink. Caffè Bicerin was founded in 1763. Torino has 13 historical restaurants and caffès that have been opened over 100 years. One restaurant was founded in 1714.

Public Works Art

Torino is know for its public works art—modern art in unusual places throughout the city. The most notable piece we saw in our stroll through the city was "Palazzo con Piercing," the work of architect Corrado Levi, in collaboration with the group of young artists and architects Cliostraat. Gogle "palazzo con piercing" to see more images of this interesting and unique work.

Guide's Joke of the Day

What are the three most read books?
1. The Holy Bible
2. The Ikea Catalogue
3. Da Vinci Code

And that's my tour of Torino.

Added Functionality

For the Jazzman and his cousin, Maggie, who asked, and for anyone else who prefers to read from paper, I've added a Print button. It's at the bottom of each post, near the place where one can post comments. I don't like that it includes ads, so I'll keep looking for a better way to enable this functionality. But for right now, you can PDF or print any of my posts and skip all the sidebar information. You'll get just the text and the photos. Enjoy!

Italy: Days 9 & 10

Verona, Views from Above, and Arrivederci, Italy

Our last full day in Italy started with a walking tour of Verona, led by a local guide. The bus took us up to Santuario della Madonna di Lourdes di Verona (Shrine of our Lady of Lourdes). We stood a long time on the plaza outside the church, admiring and snapping dozens of pictures of the view of Verona. Beautiful!

Back on the bus, we headed down to the banks of the Adige River. Within about 15 minutes, I had imbibed all the history I could handle, so the Jazzman and I set out on our own. The previous night, on our informal walking tour, we had seen some shop windows that we found interesting, so we went exploring. We had a great time walking along ancient streets and admiring beautiful and interesting things in windows and stores. After a while, we wanted to stop for lunch and headed back to the Piazza della Erbe and to the same caffè where we had dined the previous evening.

The day was beautiful, the food was—as with most every meal we had enjoyed in Itay—delicious, and the people-watching was terrific!

We wandered on the piazza for a while, looking at the kitschy little items offered by the vendors, buying a couple of goodies for friends and relatives, and then we headed back toward the hotel. Because of my painful knee, we didn't do a lot of the historical explorations that we might have done, but—really—sometimes there's only so much one can do!

Sara, our tour director, had promised a surprise before our farewell dinner. We all gathered downstairs, then started walking toward the Piazza Bra. We stood there for five or ten minutes, wondering what would happen next. Then Sara told us to turn around, and we saw a caffè with tables set out for us. She told us she was treating us to spritzes. Well, we had seen these picturesque orange drinks at most every caffè we had passed since we arrived in Verona. A few of us had tried them already, but there was much excitement around the tables! Here's more about the spritz, very popular in Italy right now.

After spritzes and bar snacks, it was time to go to the chosen restaurant for our farewell dinner. We headed to Ristorante Greppie. I can't even begin to tell you what we ate; all our meals, equally incredible, are glommed together in my mind now. But I can tell you we ate and drank and laughed. Then headed back to the hotel to finish packing and saying goodbye to the new friends whom we wouldn't see in the morning.

Let me say a word about our tour director, Sara. What a brilliant woman! She is a lifelong learner. She decided at a young age that she wanted to learn everything she could in her life. Sara speaks many languages, is a sommelier, and an academe. In addition to her university position in Torino, she leads tours to several European and Eastern European countries. And she is so fashionable! Each time I looked at her and her personality and style, I could see my granddaughter in a similar position in twenty years. Sara went out of her way at every opportunity to make our tour the best it could be.

But she hates pictures of herself. One of her cardinal rules is "no pictures of the tour director." So here's a picture she would allow: As she was dressing for dinner, the back strap on her dress broke. So she just reached into her bag of stunning jewelry, pulled out this brooch, and used it for a closure. Brilliant and beautiful.

In the morning, we loaded up the bus, drove to the Venice airport, and began the long process of boarding passes, security checks, and waiting for our flight. Then Atlanta, then Pittsburgh, a van to transport us, and Home, Sweet Home.

I've been to Europe many times—probably 25 or more. But this tour, with our dearest friends, seeing beautiful places and eating delicious food, has to be one of the best trips I've ever taken. Thanks to the Jazzman for making it possible.

Some postscript thoughts: While searching for links for these posts, I found a couple that would be very useful for anyone planning a trip on their own. Check these out: Offbeat Travel and Italy Beyond the Obvious: Tips and advice from a former tour guide.

Most of the photos I've used in this [very long] account of our trip were mine. I also had some very nice shots from various locations—those, unfortunately, are on my Nikon CoolPix camera that is still somewhere in Italy. But the Jazzman also had quite a few great shots. So I'm sharing with you now something that caught his eye. When the tobacconist closes for the night, there's still a tobacco vending machine to satisfy your nicotine fit. Cute, huh?

Thanks for reading, and thanks—again—to my friend Jill for nudging me along to get this written.