Changing One's Perspective

If you're a longtime reader, you know I've been living in the state of Financial Fiasco since selling my Tucson houses at a gross and grotesque loss in 2008. That state was not helped along by the fact that I was commuting 120 miles a day, at 28 mpg and gas prices that spent much of the time hovering over $4.00.

I've always thought "bankruptcy" was a dirty word. I believe we as Americans tend to blame everyone we can think of for our choices and mistakes and rarely want to own up to our errors. I did not want to be one of those people, and struggled to keep my bills paid and my head above water, even when it meant withdrawing funds from my IRA and paying the resultant taxes.

Alas, my work assignments have dwindled, with a resulting decrease in income. After three years of struggling, I can no longer manage. About three months ago, I called Consumer Credit Counseling Service and spent an hour on the phone with a counselor. That counselor ran the numbers and said, "You can't do it. You should probably declare bankruptcy."

I was stunned. I was aghast. I was mortified.

I called a bankruptcy attorney. We spent an hour together and discussed all the options. When I mentioned I had a lot in the mountains of Western North Carolina that was worth $350,000 when it was transferred to me, he just shook his head. We parted company as I said I would try to figure out what to do with the lot.

One realtor told me I'd be lucky to find a buyer at $25,000. Just this past week I spoke with another realtor who feels the lot could be listed at $85,000, and that's what we're now in the process of doing. And I've started collecting social security from my late husband's account.

I called card company after card company, trying to get them to lower my interest rate from 30%. Each time I asked, I was told, "We're not offering anything at this time." The decision-makers at these card companies should be drawn and quartered! The way they're treating cardholders in this economy is simply egregious!

So after two months of not being able to pay the cards with the highest interest, I finally got into a debt management plan with Money Management International.

Each conversation, where I had to recount how I got to this point and list every possible source of income, was excruciating for me.

And now the first payment has been made to MMI and tomorrow they will disburse to all the card companies. This afternoon I called all the companies to tell them to expect the communication from MMI and to adjust due dates, if necessary, to avoid any late payments.

As I made each of these calls, I was hanging my head in shame.

Until about the third call. Suddenly a light flashed on in my brain. These bad guy card companies are not losing anything I owe them. They're not losing a dime on the principle. They're only losing the 30% interest that was keeping me out of my mind in debt to them. And, in fact, all the companies except one are still charging interest. And they'll collect that.

I'm not stiffing them. I'm just, with the help of MMI, leveling the playing field to where I can pay the bills.

Isn't it a shame, isn't it a pox on the financial industry of this country, that it takes the help of a debt counseling service to get the banks to charge realistic rates?

Where is conscience? Where is rationality?

To hell with the greed of the banks. I'm not hanging my head in shame any more!