Interests versus Passions

Last night the CleveOrch Chorus was honored to sit in on a master class with Raymond Aceto.

From the COC Facebook page:

Ohio born bass, Raymond Aceto hosted a Masterclass for us last night. What a powerhouse he is! Our 5 soloists were wonderful and under his tutorage became even more so. Raymond will be performing Mefistofele in Boito's Prologue in the Heavens. May 6, 7 & 8. We can't wait to see, and hear him again.

As I sat there listening to these talented singers and observing their immediate improvement with the instructions of Mr. Aceto, several themes kept roiling through my brain.

First, I was remembering my auditions for COChorus and how overwhelmingly nervous I was. To stand in front of an audience, no matter how small, as these singers had done last night, is totally outside my ability. I was as awed by these singers' displays of courage as I was by their voices.

Next, I thought about the mere desire to participate in such an event. As much as I want to constantly improve my singing technique and become a better chorister, I wouldn't have the interest in participating in a master class. I occasionally ponder taking voice lessons [yet again], and quickly drop the idea. I've taken voice lessons a number of times, and I am completely intimidated by the process. I walk away with a feeling of incompetence, despite my vast experience and highly trained ear.

And then I thought about passion. These singers clearly have a passion for what they were doing. While I have a passion for choral singing (as evidenced by all the miles I put on my car driving to Cleveland for rehearsals and performances), I do not—absolutely do not—have such a passion for solo singing.

In fact, had I thought I could skip this master class, I probably would have done so, opting instead for a free evening with my sewing machine.

And this train of thought led me to pondering the activities I'm really passionate about. Ever since meeting the Jazzman, I have let everything get pushed to the side of the table while I spend time developing a relationship with him. Truthfully, I could be convinced to get rid of all artistic interests in favor of spending time with him. That's how good it feels to me to again—finally, at long last—be part of a loving relationship. I guess he's my Primary Passion right now.

For me, the thought of passions goes hand-in-hand with the thought of retirement. In my present situation, I cannot foresee having time to spend on the things I love to do—fiber art, practicing the piano again, reading. I long to retire, to be able to retire, so I can start over at restructuring my life. So I can sew and bead and knit; create pottery; learn to cook one or two dishes for entertaining; learn to play a passable game of golf. So I can learn an ever-increasing number of new techniques and art forms.

I ran into the nearby Sears store on my lunch hour today to look at stoves. My kitchen stove is, probably, 55-60 years old. I can't simmer anything. I can't cook rice, because the flame won't stay low enough. I can't bake because the oven temperature is erratic. I can't melt cheese on nacho chips because the broiler doesn't seem to put out enough heat. I don't need a 48" Viking. I need something functional. When the sales clerk approached me, I told her I needed a new gas stove. She said, "What's in your dreams?"

Give me a break. My dreams do not include stoves (unless it's a pottery or glass kiln). My dreams include time to myself, time not spent driving to Akron, time to follow my passions and find new passions, time to explore distant cities, time to—for the first time in many years—just do nothing.

Doing nothing? Now that I could be passionate about!