Changing Plans

For most of 2009, I was feeling rather mopey about turning 60. I knew 60 was just around the corner, and I didn't want to get anywhere near that corner. So when I heard about the WYSU Enchanting Ireland tour, and especially when I realized my birthday would arrive while the tour was in Ireland, I signed up. I figured I was going to be alone for the rest of my life and I might as well just suck it up and enjoy the ride. I paid my deposit and bought a guidebook to Ireland.

In late September, my Tucson girlfriend, Gail, traveled to south central Ohio for her aunt's memorial service. Gail and I met for brunch on Sunday and spent delightful hours together. Gail is a former flight attendant, and when I told her about the trip to Ireland, she eagerly asked, "Would you like me to go with you?" We've traveled together before and are very compatible. I thought it was a great idea, and we began making our plans.

Then the new year arrived and my world turned upside-down when I met the Jazzman. As he and I became dearer and dearer to each other, I felt sad each time I thought of being away from him for two weeks—and especially over my 60th birthday—for the trip to Ireland. When he went to Florida in late March for a week of golf, the impending two-week absence became more real, and more dreaded. But Gail and I had made our plans, and I knew we would have a great time.

Then last Sunday Gail called and told me about a recent health issue that may require surgery and an extended recuperation. "Jan," she said gently, "I may have to cancel the trip." I felt incredibly-mixed emotions. Here was a dear friend undergoing an enormous health threat, and simultaneously here was a chance to get out of the trip so I could spend my birthday with my beau while not being untrue to my girlfriend. I could be a good, true and loyal friend and still get what I wanted.

So after a handful of phone calls over several days with Gail, and a handful of e-mails to the WYSU tour contact, I have cancelled my June trip to Ireland. I've sent Gail my best wishes and will continue to check in with her and follow up. She's suggested she might just fly up here on June 22nd so we can find an Irish pub and celebrate our lives. And I've asked the Jazzman if he'll take me out for my birthday.

I told Gail I firmly believe that things work out the way they're supposed to. So we're going to believe that, for her, that means that early diagnosis is the key and she'll have a long and happy life ahead.