All or One?

Okay, okay. I said I was never posting on another online dating site. And I've said it more than once. But I had a momentary feeling of hopefulness and posted again, this time on a trés ugly site named PlentyofFish. And yes, once again my inbox is overflowing with communications from totally unsuitable men. With one exception. (Could my feeling of hopefulness be justified?!)

So I have coffee with this guy or a phone call with that guy, and my weekly Wednesday night dinner and Sunday breakfast with Frank (when I occasionally rise to the top of his dating pool). And I think, "Hey, I could do this. I could serially date and be friends with a number of men." But it's so impersonal. It's so anti-intimate.

I place my hand on Frank's back when we sit at the bar at Rio Café. We talk and laugh and joke and have a magnificent time together. We know each other's secrets and talk about the potential dates we've met. And Richard, the owner of Rio, asks me why we're not a couple. Honestly, it's cause Frank's not interested in being a couple with anybody. He wants something, but he doesn't know what he wants. And unlike pornography in the Supreme Court, I don't think he's gonna know it when he sees it.

And then somebody seemingly totally appropriate for me pops up, and I instantly think about getting rid of all these Johnny-One-Cupofcoffees and my mind immediately goes to that familiar place: "Can I have happiness again? Can I, by the grace of all things good in the universe, again find the happiness I had with John?"

You know I'm hoping this topic will be continued.