What is your purpose?

I've been e-mailing with a man who lives in Oil City, Pennsylvania — about an hour from Youngstown. He saw my profile on Match and has been offering wonderful advice and things to think about. He totally changed his life after his wife and others in his life passed on. Where he was once a workaholic executive in Boston, he's now retired and living on a very small income in western Pennsylvania.

Our notes back and forth have made me think about the meaning and purpose of one's life. For me, the meaning in my life comes from helping others, especially my children. I would sacrifice anything to give me children a better life. In fact, I did sacrifice everything for about two years in the hell that was life with Steve. The bottom line for me in that relationship was that TJ and Ty and Jaci were better off than they would have been had I left that relationship of my own volition, rather than waiting to be booted out. Of course, I now have to wear bite guards to compensate for the damage I did to my TMJ during that horribly stressful time.

But back to meaning and purpose. I once whined to my therapist that I had no purpose in life. She said, "Of course you do. Your purpose is to create beautiful things." That felt good and right, and I've tried to hold on to that.

I envision Jim-in-Oil-City's life and wonder what life as a retiree at 57 in a small town is like. He goes into Pittsburgh to go to museums and theatre. He drives through the mountains and along rivers and just enjoys himself. But I find myself wanting to say to him, "but what do you do?"

If I were to quit work, I would spent about three years sewing my fabric stash (yes, it would take that long). And I'd do stained glass again. And maybe more pottery classes. So I would be working, on things I love and enjoy but that don't pay at all. I've got to learn to budget — maybe working without pay wouldn't be a bad thing!