What I Attract versus What I Want

And further, do I attract scoundrels, and if so, why so?

Thinking back to last year, where Bob told me he loved me yet kept his profile up and three months into the relationship made a date on a Friday night with a woman on Match. And Doug, who broke up with me via e-mail. And Frank, who had been seeing me for two-and-a-half months, then didn't come to my concert (for which I had given him tickets) because he was chasing a woman he met on a walk around his neighborhood. What is wrong with these men? Why can't they deal with one thing at a time: if it's broke, fix it or get rid of it, don't set it aside and acquire another of the same item.

Frank and I went to dinner Saturday night, then to a resort to listen to my favorite band. When I got to his house to pick him up after my pedicure, the neighborhood woman was there, picking up her dog who now has doggy day care and plays with Frank's dog. (What_Ever.) It was very interesting to see her, the same build and hair color as me. But more interesting were the feelings it evoked within me, those same feelings of rejection and questions of "what's wrong with me that you want to chase after someone else when we've got something perfectly good going here."

Someday I will learn that it's not "what's wrong with me?" but "WTF's wrong with YOU?"

I think of dinner last night and think, "this guy is nice, smart, and probably not a scoundrel." But that's the thing with scoundrels. None of them has "Scoundrel" tattooed on his forehead. It takes a while to peel away the layers to realize the guy is a skilled scoundrel.