Following One's Passion

When I consider men who would be suitable to date, one of the first factors I consider is how they would mesh with my family. Would my children respect this man or think he's a buffoon. My sons love me very much—would they think this man was worthy of me, or think I had settled for less, maybe even far less, than I deserve?

I look at profiles on Match, and read about potential dates' interests. And the thought that comes to mind is: is following a passion, in and of itself, a good and admirable activity? Does it matter if the passion is an oddity? Does the fact that it's your passion and you've figured out a way to follow it negate the fact that it's somewhat off the beaten path?

Must I be comfortable with your passion, or does my belief in you enable and allow me to just be supportive of your passion rather than worrying about identifying with it?

If a man plays, for example, alto water glass in an eight-person water glass ensemble, and I think a water glass ensemble is just a little wierd, does that a) put the kibosh on the potential relationship; or b) function as one negative mark, to be weighed with and against all the other negative and positive marks that are amassed; or c) have no bearing — suck it up, it's just something he likes to do?

If you feel awkward saying to your friends that your new man plays alto water glass, do you simply not tell your friends about that aspect of your fella, or do you think maybe this is not the fella for you?

When husband #1, FOMC, and I had already agreed to separate, he decided it was time for us to go to a Marriage Encounter weekend (even though I had been asking and he had been declining for years!). One of the mantras of Marriage Encounter in the early 80s was "Feelings are not good or bad; they just are."

Is it the same thing for passions? A person's passions are neither positive nor negative, good nor bad, they just are? Does the goodness come out of following the passion, whatever it may be?