Post Pipetem

So here's the deal. My house is a year younger than I am. And considering the past two days, I'm thinking I'm in pretty good shape.

The pipes connecting the water meter to the house, which were laid into the ground in 1951, have completely disintegrated. And they chose New Year's Eve 2007 to do so. One day earlier or two days later would have been fine. But no, they had to fall apart on New Year's Eve (not unlike people I've known in the past) so that the plumber would come knocking on my door on the most expensive day of the year. A nice young man named Shane had to charge me $220/hour for his time. Really. I'm in the wrong business.

Do you think if I start trade school next week I can get up to that $220/hour quickly? Oooh, I suddenly had a flashback to our house on Lake Sybelia Drive in Maitland when the boys were 2 and 1. I pulled up the cover over the water meter and about 273 roaches scurried out. I think I'll keep my desk job.

Anyway, $1,075.63 later (really - 63 cents!) I have a temporary pipe snaking from the water meter in the alley to the pipe outside my bathroom wall. An estimator will come in the next few days to tell me how much more it's going to cost for their people to dig a trench and bury the pipe. And dig up my patio (but not lay it back down - must call someone else to do that). And dig up the rock in the backyard, which I must call someone to fix, as I'm not doing any further damage to my back schlepping rocks. Oh, and part of the trench must be dug by hand as it runs parallel to and just a few inches away from the gas line into the house. If you've never lived in this desert and tried to stick a shovel into this hard earth, you can't appreciate what "digging by hand" really means. Any time I have to dig a hole, I run the water on the location for about an hour, dig down about a foot, run the water for another hour, and so on.

By the way, "home warranty" means "home", not "home and land and everything that's registered in your name with the county." There were no pipes broken in the house, just very old pipes in the yard. So there's no financial relief for me. The financial relief will come from the City of Tucson, when I call them later on this morning and get them to tell me where, between $1,000 and $2,000, my water bill lies on the spectrum of outrageous expenses.

Where's the goodness? (asks she who always wants to see the silver lining, or in this case - platinum) Number 1 on the scale of goodness is that I never heard back from the painter on the estimate, so hadn't forked over any money to him yet—and will now tell him thanks but no thanks. Number 2 on the scale is that I can tell potential buyers that they don't have to worry about the water line for another 56 years. Oh, and Number 3? Technology! This new pipe is similar to PVC but is flexible, so that it doesn't freeze. If the water inside the pipe freezes, the pipe expands. Woo hoo! Somebody used his brain to design this new pipe.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I gotta go search for a second job. ;-)